Relational Challenges of an Addict pt. 2

Social impairment is a cause of concern for one who is recovering from a substance abuse addiction. Most users experienced being intoxicated during a great deal of their social gatherings so being sober may present some social awkwardness at those future gatherings.

Genograms can also be helpful when
exploring your relationships with others.

Social skills training is a significant portion of recovery as it will help to build healthy relationships with new/old friends or acquaintances.

You also may have some relationship repairing to do with those that have suffered the brunt of some of your anti-social activities while intoxicated or chasing after your next high. Building trust with those parties will be difficult but not impossible if you can admit that there is a substance abuse problem and a desire to work on building new social skills.

Being around a group of friends or relatives that use substances can be challenging as well when your trying to straiten your life out.  Alcohol, cocaine, or heroin may still be available within your social circles.  If saying no to your friends presents a problem then learning new social skills will be important in making this life transition.  Becoming more assertive with expressing your feelings and thoughts about your new lifestyle can help you to maintain your relationship yet still communicate clear boundaries.

A counselor/therapist will role play scenarios that may come up in the future with friends so that you can boost your confidence when in the moment; which will make the chances of recovery more successful. Group therapy is another way to develop social skills due to listening to others' challenging situations and learning how they successfully managed to say no.

Those that are recovering from a Substance Abuse Disorder that meet the criteria from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition have a diagnosis due to the regular use of alcohol/drugs that causes significant impairment "based on evidence of impaired control, social impairment, risky use, and pharmacological criteria" (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration and was last updated on 6/17/2015).  The specifics of the disorder can be explained in the hyperlink. 

Tony Nichols

 --I find joy in helping other's experience hope and peace in their life.  

Relational Challenges of an Addict

When an addict is recovering from alcohol or drugs, overeating, gambling, or compulsive shopping, they still have the challenge for the rest of their lives with staying sober, eating healthy, and spending their money/time wisely.  The issue isn't just overcoming the behavior, but sometimes it's also moving past the people that they spend their time with.  Breaking strong bonds with others can be extremely difficult but it can also save your life.  

Do you want to finally get over the maladaptive behavior(s) that found you in court, in a messy divorce, or bankrupt?   Do you find yourself at the same watering hole and kicking up dirt with the same people only to find yourself in the same crisis situations?  Be careful choosing the people you hang out with.  Proverbs says that iron sharpens iron, but it also profoundly states that a dog returns to his vomit- a foolish person does the same foolish things over and over again.  Find people that will encourage you, that will be honest with you, that will give an ear when needed, and that will help you to be a better person.  Having fun is good too!  Eventually you become the person or people that you spend the most time with.        

If you want to be successful at turning away from unethical behavior or curbing an addiction that continues to bring you down, then you need to leave the corrupt characters in your life behind and move forward.  Though finding good people to hang out with can be challenging, perhaps you can find new friends in rehab, in your new class in college, at Sunday school/small group at a church, at your place of employment, or other social groups in your community.

No one is perfect and anyone can be a negative influence from time-to-time, but when you need to change significant behaviors in your life or maintain that change, be wise with those you spend your time with.  

Tony Nichols

     --I find joy in helping other's experience hope and peace in their life.    

Grounding Experiences

It's been a perfect 70-80 degrees outside, the grass is green, and the flowers are in full blooom.  The trees and the light wind create a shadey breeze with a little bit of sunshine peeking through the leaves in the front yard.  The last couple months my calmest moments have been drinking coffee on the front porch while enjoying the scenery that God has given me.

Source of Pic

We need these grounding experiences each day to help us become aware of our current feelings about important matters in our life and to have clarity of mind when making significant decisions throughout the day.  Moments like these brings the pulse rate down so the body can rest and haults the racing thoughts so the mind can be at ease.

In Counseling Today I read an article on how counselors can help others work through difficult times. The author said to "Use grounding techniques to help clients stabilize. For example, Webber says, ask clients to name five non-distressing objects they can see, five non-distressing objects they can hear and five non-distressing objects they can touch. Integrate this exercise with deep breathing" (Lynne Shallcross 2010).  The article also suggests that one should be in the practice of performing these exercisis daily not just when there is a crisis situation as to keep the individual grounded in reality (Counseling Today).

For me on some days it's the front porch, but other days it's working in the yard (some call this "dirt therapy").  Find time in your day that you can take in a similar moment.  Think about what you enjoy seeing, touching, or listening to and take a short time out of your day to become grounded.

Tony Nichols

I enjoy helping others experience joy and peace in their life!
     

Looking for a Counseling Career?

I decided to gather some information about the Human Services field and make a blog for those that are trying to make career decisions.  It can be extremely confusing when you don't know where to look for the right information. Some of this information is general, but most only pertains to the state of Illinios as each state incorporates different standards.    

If you are just graduating high school, the first step is finding an undergrad program that includes a psychology degree or a degree in the human services field.  You will want to complete the degree, or at least your last two semesters, with a 3.0 GPA.  After completing a bachelors degree, search for a masters program that meets the requirements of the field that you desire to work in.

**Before you drop $20,000-$50,000 on a degree, make sure it will take you into the field you want to work in the most and for the longest period of time.  A psychology degree is very broad and can open up opportunities in a vareity of human services fields for you.  Seek out your guidance counselor to take a career test or search for a local career counselor to explore what drives you to be successful.  You also need to consider what kind of lifestyle you want to live.  Can you afford to be a therapist? Look up websites: www.payscale.com or Indeed Salary for LCPC to get an idea of a professional counselor's salary.

There are several fields within human services to choose from:

If you want to provide individual, family, and group counseling, a Clinical Mental Health Counseling masters degree would be best.  Look for a degree with at least CACREP standards.  Though, it's best to look at your states requirements.  I know that a counseling student in Indiana will need to take an internship with 1000 hours whereas other states, such as Texas, only require 300 internship hours. Illinois requires a graduate student in counseling to take classes in 13 differenent competencies, including a practicum or internship, and the degree must be at least 48 credit hours.  In Illinois, CACREP is the preferred accreditation, but it is not yet the official state standard. A CACREP degree requires 700 internship hours.  There are ten Universities in Illinois that have a CACREP accreditation for Clincial Mental Health Counseling: click here for the ten Illinios Universities.  The University I graduated from in 2015 is now one of those ten: LCU Counseling webpage. 

If you want to provide individual and group counseling for those with substance abuse disorders, then a Masters degree in Addictions Counseling would be your choice.  Keep in mind, that a social worker with a LSW and a counselor with a LPC can also work with substance abuse clients.  The University of Illinois has a top rated Masters in Social Work.  Check it out: UofI MSW Program.

If you primarily want to focus on counseling couples and families then a degree in Marriage and Family Therapy would suit you best.

Often times when people have setbacks, whether it's substance abuse or physical ailments, people will need a counselor to help them recover.  If this is the population you want to work with then a Rehabilitation Counseling degree would be best for you.  Southern Illinios University- Carbondale has one of the best programs in the country: http://ehs.siu.edu/rehab/

The above positions have their own licensure standards and exams, below are links about exams and licensure in Clinical Mental Health Counseling (LPC) in Illinois.

Professional Counselor in the state of Illinois                            NCE and NCMHCE Test-Prep

Professional Counselor Info                                                       National Counselor Exam official site

After attaining a masters degree, you will want to take the National Counselors Exam to finally apply for a License in Professional Counseling.  After two years of counseling experience under the supervision of a LCPC, then you can take the National Clinical Mental Health Counselor Exam (NCMHCE).  A LCPC license will allow you to meet the Illinois standard to supervise other counselors and to work in your own private practice.  A LCPC licensure application with state qualifications is here.

Many organizations, especially those that receive funding from the state, will want their therapists to be a Qualified Mental Health Professional.  The standard is explained in Section 132.  Meeting this standard will open a lot more opportunities for you and your future.

I hope this helps you find the career that will provide the most fulfilling experiences in your life.  Let me know if you have any questions.

Tony Nichols

I enjoy helping others experience hope and joy in their life!

Best Way to Evoke Change in Others: Motivational Interviewing

Motivational Interviewing (MI) is a counseling style used to help a client uncover his or her ambivalence toward maladaptive behaviors and to evoke change.

This evidence based interviewing style reminds me of a popular philosophical method that Francis Schaeffer used, "taking the roof off." When you remove the roof off of the house, Shaeffer states that, "each man must stand naked and wounded before the truth of what is."  The reality of one's worldview that which someone lives comes flooding in.  Therefore, the roof must be carefully deconstructed so the house can be reconstructed.  Apply that same concept to behavioral change and you have the crux of Motivational Interviewing.

Initiators of MI in the 80's, Miller and Rollnick (2013), in their book entitled Motivational Interviewing: Helping People Change, stated, "If someone else voices an argument for change, people are likely to respond by expressing a counter-change argument from the other side of their ambivalence.  By continuing to express the arguments against change, people can literally talk themselves out of changing.  Similarly, people can talk themselves into change by continuing to voice prochange arguments" (See source here).

Unless there is a direct intent to harm self or others, it is up to the client to make his own life choices (you can't make someone else's choices for them).  What I love about motivational interviewing is that the counselor explores with the client and helps him expose his own destructive path and the consequences of that path.  Then the counselor can process with the client how to hold himself accountable by using his own values, goals, strengths, and morals.  Typically, people have the resources from within to make better decisions; it's up to the counselor to help pull these out.  If this happends, then the client can take ownership and build confidence in changing her behavior.

As the client uncovers his own values, he may see that drinking excessive amounts of alcohol at work or other maladaptive behaviors might cause his life to come flooding in on him (losing his job, income, house, hobbies, license, ability to support his family, prison, etc.).  Seeing this new reality or truth will help motivate the client to change.

A research journal article reported that MI helps clients change their behavior and that it trumps traditional advice giving in approximately 80% of the cases (See full study here). 

Tony Nichols

 --I find joy in helping other's experience hope and peace in their life. 

Looking for a Satisfying Career?

Are you thinking about changing careers or jobs?  There are many career paths that a person can choose after high school.  There are also several transition points a person can experience in life that will take him from one career to another.  Happenstance, unplanned connections with people or events, will be a reason why a person will move from one job or career to another.  One of the major competencies in counseling is Career Counseling.  An interesting career theory that stuck out to me through my research was Krumboltz's Happenstance Learning Theory:


Which roads lead to your dream job?

"(1) The goal of career counseling is to help clients learn to take actions to achieve more satisfying career and personal lives—not to make a single career decision. 

(2) Assessments are used to stimulate learning, not to match personal characteristics with occupational characteristics. 

(3) Clients learn to engage in exploratory actions as a way of generating beneficial unplanned events. 

(4) The success of counseling is assessed by what the client accomplishes in the real world outside the counseling session." Link to research article

Longevity, stability, growing roots, etc. are principles that many people hold in high regard (for many good reasons) but those traditional practices wont necessarily bring personal satisfaction to everyone.  Continuing to learn about life, seeking new interests, and growing relationships with others can bring many new career or job opportunities.  Some will even happen upon you by meeting those new people or exploring those new adventures.

           

A Forbes article reported that The Bureau of Labor Statistics found that people change jobs every 4.4 years.  A 2012 survey by Net Impact uncovered that 88% of employees considered "positive culture" important or essential to their dream job, and 86% reported that there dream job must be "interesting" as well.  The Forbes article also expressed that "Job -hopping helps workers reach both goals, because it means trying out a variety of roles and workplaces while learning new skills along the way."Forbes Article

Finding a new job or career doesn't have to just include signing up for indeed.com or looking through the newspaper.  Seek out a career counselor or coach, take a career assessment to create more self-awareness, learn new skills, and get involved in different activities.  You might just happen to find your dream job!

     

Tony Nichols

 --I find joy in helping other's experience hope and peace in their life. 

I'm Done! But, still stretching!

I just completed my last project and class last night!!!  I feel a lot of weight lifted off of my shoulders now that this counseling degree is finished.  I didn't feel this way after my bachelor's degree because I was already enrolled in graduate school and I didn't experience relief after the M.Div. because I was still taking courses for the counseling degree.  I defintely didn't feel this way after high school because I was still like a disoriented looking chicken cracking out of the egg shell.  But, at the age of 34, it's like I am finally an adult now and I can move on with life in the real world.  But my desire to grow is still strong.  Experiencing an achievement or goal doesn't mean as much if I can't defend it or continue to live out that success. Leadership guru, John Maxwell, said, “Success is due to our stretching to the challenges of life. Failure comes when we shrink from them.”     
     
My last course was in Test and Measures and my class had to take a battery of tests to gain the experience of administering, scoring, and interpreting tests so that we can make better assessments when we are in a therapist position.  One of the common patterns that surfaced in my tests was anxiety.  This has been a tough year with some experiences positive and some negative, but all causing stress (a lot of material for stretching) with moving into a new home, having an adorable healthy baby boy, working an internship and a full-time job (days and nights), troubles with our rental in Kansas, and finding time to spend with family and friends.  Even though I have a great wife and awesome/squirly boys at home, raising a family brings its own kind of stress as well.

I look forward to having a more balanced life; though, I haven't experienced what that's like without being enrolled in class since I was four (save for a year in-between HS and college).  Am I going to fill the void with something else and continue to manage a high level of stress/anxiety or am I going to relax for a period of time?  What is life like without having deadlines to complete projects, papers, and other assignments alongside all the other demands/opportunities in life?
I enjoy the product of what God has blessed me with; can't wait to see what else is going to stretch me!

Success is best achieved in community.  Thank you- Family, friends, professors, and colleagues that have spotted me on some of these life stretches!  Honorable mention- My wife, Shanda!    

Tony Nichols

 --I find joy in helping other's experience hope and peace in their life.