Seeking a Healthy Marriage?

Marriage Defined: work. play. co-habitat. enjoy. disappointment. frustrating. exciting. confusing. difficult. breath-taking, dysfunctional, conflict. interesting. curious. unconditional. non-compatible. pleasurable.

These are all words that can describe a marriage.

There is plenty that is written and explored within the topic of developing a healthy marriage and loving relationships.  The English word "love" may be the most sought after or awkwardly used word in the beginning of a relationship (we've all been there), but often times isn't specific enough in expressing one's true feelings.  One's love for tacos isn't the same love that one possesses for his bride (if it is, maybe that's the problem).


Eros (sensual), agape (unconditional), storge (familial), and philia (brotherly or friendly) are four used words in the Greek language to express a variety of love.  Clearly communicating desires and needs in marriage is an extremely significant component that if neglected can establish some pretty major bumpy roads in a relationship.  Marriage and relationship guru, Christopher Grace Ph.D, sews these different expressions of love together through exploring ways of developing a healthy marriage.

First, they are marked by a deep and abiding friendship, with an enjoyment of each other’s company, evidenced by affection (i.e., feelings of sympathy, empathy, compassion), 

and a caring for each other above one’s own needs (Phil. 2:3–4). 

Second, healthy relationships are emotionally and physically safe. Such “interaction safety” is the confidence that one can be emotionally vulnerable and still find acceptance, understanding and support, free from chronic negative patterns of contempt, criticism, stonewalling and defensiveness.

Third, healthy relationships are marked with trust and kindness (Eph. 4:32). They allow for the making of mistakes without fear of judgment. Kindness helps us feel loved, understood and cared for, and is a key predictor of satisfaction and stability in a marriage. 

Fourth, healthy relationships are marked with generosity and a growing appreciation for each other. As the author of Hebrews puts it, we are to “consider how to motivate one another to love and good deeds.” 

Finally, healthy relationships include an expectation of longevity — a hope-filled sense of a future together, of growing old together.

http://magazine.biola.edu/article/14-fall/how-can-we-build-better-marriages/

The bulls eye is always easier to put up than it is to hit.   -->---->---->----@  

Tony Nichols