Emotional Intelligence: Responding to Personal Triggers

What are some of your emotional triggers or pet peeves?

 
* Talking about politics at work or a family gatherings
* When someone gives unsolicited advice
* Judgmental opinions
* Someone sneezing in your food
* Inconsistencies
* Spouse or subordinate overspending
* Car turning in front of you without a blinker
* No use of spellcheck in emails or important documents
* Someone with an "It's all about me" kind of attitude that you have to be around often.
* Getting cussed out/told off by a co-worker/family member
* Feeling guilty about a bad choice
* Getting slapped in the face
* When someone is rude to you for no apparent reason
* Drive-thru mishap
* When co-workers/family members arrive late

How you respond to triggers says a lot about your emotional intelligence.  When you become angry about one of your triggers, how do you cope?  - Smoke, punch a hole in the wall, drink, overeat, impulsive spending spree on amazon.com, call a friend, do a project around the house, go for a drive...

Our definition of emotional intelligence is- Emotional intelligence refers to an ability to recognize the meanings of emotions and their relationships, and to reason and problem-solve on the basis of them. Emotional intelligence is involved in the capacity to perceive emotions, assimilate emotion-related feelings, understand the information of those emotions, and manage them (Mayer et al.'s 1999)

You can take an emotional intelligence test at: Emotional Intelligence Test on the queendom.com website.  You will get an assessment from the test that will guide you through your own emotional struggles and strengths.  Review the results, explore/problem solve how you can better manage your feelings when you find yourself triggered.  This can improve relationships, provide a healthier culture at work/home, get more done around the house/work, and relieve unhealthy stress. 

Tony Nichols

 --I find joy in helping other's experience hope and peace in their life.  

 

Coffee Breaks Improve Mental Health

We all have busy days but there are also times when back-to-back appointments all day with clients, projects, or staff meetings keep us busier than most.  Then at the end of the day the eye lids close immediately after the head hits the pillow only to start over the next day at the same speed.  Those who find their employment to be fast paced, heavily interactive, and always meeting important deadlines may also find themselves neglecting a break time during their day.

Youth are staying busy with school all day then sports, clubs, and other extracurriculars in the evening are looking to get into the college of their dreams with the least amount of debt possible.  Parent's are making sure that their children are appropriately socialized and physically fit while also encouraging their child to explore every creative bone in their body with karate, gymnastics, guitar, 4-H, and every other activity that helps them engage.  Our jobs, events, and kids' activities are all exciting and reasonable, but are we getting any breaks to let our minds catch up throughout the day? 

What you do on your break makes a difference as well.  Using this time to pray, meditate, drink coffee, read a book, or doing something that relaxes you will make a significant difference on your stress level, blood pressure, and will provide a more positive day. 

In my academic career along with my professional experience working with youth in ministry, foster care, and residential treatment, there have been many days when a break was the last thing on my mind.  There have been times when I had to go to the bathroom all day or get a drink, but couldn't find the time.  There have been other situations when my wife asked me what I had to eat at the end of the day and I realized that I ate nothing all day.  Thankfully, not all seasons working with youth are the same. The last couple summers working nights were extremely involved, but fortunately this summer has been more relaxed with some much needed down time.  I'm appreciative of the days when breaks are more commonplace because it allows time for my brain to catch up and process information, relationships, and events in a healthy manner.  Do your mind a favor and take a break!

Recently, I read in a Stanford Graduate School of Business article that taking breaks increase productivity, which your boss will love, and it also improves your mental health.  The article stated,   

“It doesn't take much to convince business leaders and others that they should take a coffee break from time to time. Taking 10 or 15 minutes off ultimately increases productivity rather than decreasing it. How much more useful and fulfilling to stimulate one's "relaxation response" through a meditational or prayer practice during one of those break times.  If nothing else, there's good medical evidence that it helps you to reduce stress, limit negative emotions, lower blood pressure, restore calmness, and increase your overall sense of well-being.”*

                             *From: How to Bring Your Spiritual Side to Work Every Day | Stanford Graduate School of Business 

                             http://www.gsb.stanford.edu/insights/how-bring-your-spiritual-side-work-every-day

Tony Nichols

--I find joy in helping other's experience hope and peace in their life.